For me loving, listening and learning are interconnected because you cannot learn if you don’t listen or you don’t listen something if you dislike it, or you cannot learn without love, and the entire process has you in the center or the client in the coaching environment. When you spend time to listen to yourself you have the opportunity to learn from the thinking process or from the experience that is related to that from the past or from others, and then you discover that are new and valuable things that you can use to grow and that means a step in your process of loving yourself. In a coaching session following the steps written above starting with listening, going through values and using power tools to overcome fear and limitations, with care and sometimes with a push forward or a challenge, can move the client from the place he is to a new place where he is empowered and ready for new actions.

Learning about yourself and your reaction towards outside circumstances is an ongoing process that can bring you fulfillment in your present life and eagerness for more joy and success for future adventures and goals in life and with the help of your coaching experience you may find a lot of things about yourself that you were not aware of. Don t you just want to have the answer to some questions about yourself that you have asked over the years and for different reasons you didn’t t found the answer or the answer was based on others assumptions, or the society view and your intuition was telling you differently? This is how you can start learning about yourself:

Learning about yourself starts with loving yourself first.

We often believe that we love ourselves, and yet our actions and reactions suggest otherwise. Loving yourself is crucial to your personal development, to the fulfillment of your goals, and to developing healthy, happy relationships with others.

Loving yourself provides you the opportunity to learn about yourself and when you know more about yourself, you’ll live a better life.

 

When you take the time to nourish yourself, you start listening to your needs, your desires and your thoughts.

So how can be possible to hear what you and nobody else but you have to say, and really listen to you?

·         How do you tell what thoughts are the real you, and what thoughts are just what you’ve been taught to think?

·         How do you recognize when you are just listening to your inner critic?

What can be a good way to listen to you deeply?

Why is listening to yourself so important?

It takes commitment and effort to differentiate between the things you’ve been taught to believe are fact, versus what is actually true for you personally. But it is really important, because when you know how to listen to yourself paying attention to you, you make choices that lead towards the life you actually want, not the one you think you should want. And this inevitably lowers your stress levels and increase your self-esteem and contentment.

How to Let Go

To let go is not to make everything to my desires but to take every day as it comes and to cherish myself in it.

So, how do you get away from the constant stress that not being in complete control can leave you in? It’s an easy thing to say, but a difficult thing to do: You have to let your worries go. You have to focus on what you can change (you) and what you can’t change (everything else). There are different ways to take back control from a stressful, frightening world.

Although living your best life may seem difficult, it is within your power and of course your choice. You can choose to learn to enjoy happiness and achieve inner peace simply by changing and incorporating some healthy habits into your life. Sometimes living up to your full potential is just about having the time for self-care. Taking some precious moments for you to meditate, journal, can make all the difference. Craving a glass of wine and a good cake? Give in to that desire, because treating yourself can be just as important as working hard.

Everything in our lives is decided by the fact that we either let fear control us or that we control it.  If you want to do really amazing things in this life you have got to find the courage and the willingness to look within yourself and understand what fear truly is, how it works and how it affects your mind and body. Because once you do, once you see what it truly is – clearly, you are taking away all the limitations in your life. Once you understand the true nature of what stops us, once that has been lifted, it transforms into a bridge. And crossing that bridge allows you to see what is on the other side: Freedom.

Living your life to your fullest potential can only be achieved when you have come face to face with your fear of the unknown. But this is not an easy thing to do. It is not about ignoring the fear of the unknown, is more than that. To be able to conquer your fear of the unknown, you have to be committed to making the changes within yourself and that is where it gets tough and need a lot of determination.

Fear is not unique to you. Fear is part of our  DNA and so it is not unusual for you to feel fear when you are stepping out into the unknown. Our brain is made in the way to prefer negative consequences to uncertain outcomes. Our brain does not like us stepping out into the unknown or living in a world of change because is not safe.

Anything we try in life that takes us out of our comfort zone comes with lots of discomfort, is not easy and makes us experience the feelings of uncertainty.

Accept that you cannot avoid the effect of change in your life and that change is never easy. Also accept that change is not to be feared by you. The more you open up to the concept of change the more courageous you will become. And by practicing change instead of staying in the same fearful place you will like it.

Resisting change keeps you in the same place, a place of discomfort and that’s where your fear of the unknown likes to be. Your fear will keep you paralyzed in a bad situation because it is what it knows best and where it can control you.

Stepping out and embracing change will open you up to a world of opportunities and growth.

After making this step and starting to act on it we have to pay attention to Values and Visions and alignment if possible of those two

Values

Being able to know the difference between needs wants and values is the first thing you need to address because unmet needs cloud your ability to identify your values, and decisions based on values will have more chance of staying right for a long time.

When values are honored they lead to opportunities.

In a coaching context, there are times when people need to make big decisions, and need to access their values base to know the best way forward for them. Sometimes, people are either not aware of their values, or haven’t “visited” them for some time, and need to go back to the basics, to their core, to reflect.

Here are some steps used in coaching used for the benefit of the client to identify their core values:

1. Ask them to identify at least three peak moments in their life – times when they felt the happiest or most fulfilled. What made these moments so incredible?
2. Help them break down what values are present in these moments and choose the most important ones
3. Prioritize the top values into a hierarchy of most important to least important.
4. Help them create visual reminders of these core values .for example the use of post-it notes, pictures or similar reminders to keep them focused.

Have a Vision

A vision can be used in different ways: inspiration or prediction. It is first used to inspire you in reaching something that you are wanting and pursuing. It is also used in prediction for changes in the future and interests you have for yourself.

A vision can and will be be the most powerful way to keep you focused on what you want in life while keeping you motivated in achieving it. A vision will open your mind to many possibilities. When you can envision a future that is definitely on your liking:  better, happier, more productive, you are more likely to do the changes that are necessary for you to reach that type of life.

Clients are encouraged to empower themselves through honest exploration of their values, beliefs, priorities, assumptions. Embracing the entire situation can be accomplished by shift of self-talk and start of taking aligned actions and even things that can scare you is important to embrace.

Successful people aren’t afraid of their slow progress. They don’t get easily discouraged. They don’t fret on how many failures they have. They know that roadblocks are part of their success story. Most people rely on their motivation and willpower to sustain them. It hurts their ego to see that they are being ignored despite their efforts. They feel it is unfair not to get the desired results after putting in the work. They don’t have the stamina to keep running amidst the pain. So they give up before achieving, not knowing the next phase can be their success. For every challenge, there is an opportunity that waits behind it if you have a positive attitude. Do not be intimidated by the achievements of others. It is your own race, step by step, brick by brick, you’ll get there .Life has more to offer. Success can be achieved every day. No one can define how successful you are. It is your own definition. When you don’t live in other people’s definition of success, it helps you to fully express yourself. Do not just focus on chasing accomplishments. Find something that will fulfill you.

References:

The portable coach by Thomas J. Leonard 1998.

www.positivepsychology.com